So I just finished registration, after 2 grueling hours of begging my computer to load faster and crying and screaming the whole way, I've learned something about myself. My weakness is, well now I'm second guessing my wording because it's 3 am and I'm a tad sleepy, becoming helpless I suppose. In any situation that I am able to do something, even if it seems meaningless, I can cope. In tonight's situation, where I could do nothing except for pray, cry, and beg, I became someone completely different. I found myself complaining so much, I absolutely loathe people who complain all the time. Although I will give myself the fact that I was complaining and would've worked toward a solution to what i was complaining about if there was one. Still, I complained a lot. I became very mean when my family asked me to stop acting like a banshee (my words, not theirs.) Which is a reasonable request at 2 am when they need to get up early for work. Still, I became very mean, my voice was even different, almost like I was possessed. And when my mom came in to try to be there for me and to calm me down, instead of thanking her or trying to calm down, I tried to drive her away. I suppose sometimes misery doesn't love company??? Anyway, I think I'm back to normal now, considering that I'm self analyzing myself.
The point: I did not like who I became in that situation. It started out as simple frustration and eventually turned me into a completely different person! This has been a learning experience for me. I've learned that I need to watch my actions and my thoughts going into certain situations before I start getting frustrated, so that I can prevent a temporary personality transplant. I probably should have realized this before I started registering for classes (the most not fun thing in the world) but alas, I needed to see myself possessed by my own extreme focus to realize that simple frustration when left to fester can really change a person.
I'm sorry if this was rambly and didn't really make sense, and if there are spelling or grammatical errors, I'm very sleepy at the moment, and I'm ready to crawl into bed. Being a banshee, even just for two hours is very tiring.
