I hate...

I hate that I put myself under so much pressure. I hate that I feel that I can't at all control the pressure I put myself under. I hate that other people can do everything I want to do like take an insane amount of credits and hold a job and still get good grades and get by on little to no sleep. I hate that some people seem to have it so easy. I hate that I have things so easy and yet everything seems so difficult. I hate that it seems like my whole life is going to be me chugging along through everything stopping to have a quasi-mental breakdown every once in awhile. Why do they tell us in church to strive so much for perfection when we can't obtain it? It's too much pressure, I can't be anywhere near perfect. I've been trying for so long but I just feel so inadequate. I keep asking myself if everything I'm doing is worth it, if I'm actually going to succeed in life. Am I going to get good grades the rest of my undergrad career? Am I going to succeed in grad school? Will I have the career that I dream of? Will I actually meet that guy I'm supposed to marry someday? Will I have children of my own? Will I be happy one day? I like to think that I'm happy, but I can't stop the inadequacy. Other people do it all flawlessly, why can't I? I hate feeling so stupid all the time, I just wish it would go away...