Dear Mr. Wilcox:
Hello, my name is Jenifer Wagner and I'm emailing you in response to your article in the Scroll concerning pedestrian safety. It was very well written, in my opinion. I do have one criticism though: when you use examples in your article, they should be relevant to your subject. Your example of the recent car accident involving a pedestrian was very irrelevant to your story. You would know this had you checked your facts. The reason I know that it was irrelevant was that I was the pedestrian in the accident. First off, don't stop reading this email right now, because I have some very important things to point out and I promise I won't be abusive or harsh in my manner of explaining myself. I know you think that who was at fault "doesn't matter" and that you "don't care" but in an article emphasizing that pedestrians aren't exercising enough safety, it actually matters a lot. I want to start off by saying that I agree that pedestrians do need to exercise caution. But using my accident to illustrate this was very insulting to me, because it made it seem like I wasn't exercising caution. I'll have you know that I did everything I could to keep myself safe. I was not on my phone and I did not have an mp3 player blocking out my surroundings. I hit the button for the flashing beacon before crossing the street. I looked both ways before entering the crosswalk. I continued to look both ways as I was crossing. It wasn't until it was too late that I saw the car that hit me. In the police report, the driver stated that she couldn't see anyone in the crosswalk because her "windshield was foggy from the dust". If you don't believe any of this that I'm saying, I'd be happy to send you a copy of the police report. I really hope that knowing this about the accident shows you that getting facts before writing an article, even an opinion article, is very important. Please remember this as you go about life, writing papers for undergrad or grad school, or even if you go on to publish other writings. I realize that you can't please everyone in what you write, but please note that this email is not concerning pleasing others in what you write. Now, whatever you do in response to this email is not up to me to decide, but please don't be angry that I wrote something that wasn't exactly praiseworthy of your article. The only reason that I wrote this email to you personally, and not to the Scroll editor, was that I didn't want to humiliate or make an example out of you. I just wanted to confront this issue in a nonchalant manner. If you decided to read this e-mail all the way through, thank you. Thank you also for your time.
-Jenifer Wagner
25 July 2011
07 July 2011
Replacement
Yesterday, after I found out that my knee has no torn ligaments and is just very deeply bruised (thank goodness, but it still hurts like heck), I realized a pattern in my recovery. The better that my body got, the more I was feeling emotional pain over this whole accident. This was made quite obvious to me by the major emotional breakdown I had and the minor one right before bed. It just makes me mad and sad to no end that my life was completely turned upside down from this. I have to rely on other people for the most basic things and I hate that so much. It's getting better, I can do more things for myself, but before when I couldn't do anything for myself it really sucked. There's still a few things I can't do: normal shower because my knee is too weak, I can't style my hair because it hurts my elbow too much, I can't go on walks because I get too tired and I'd be afraid of crossing some of the streets. I can do stairs, but it's so exhausting. On Friday morning, I left the house excited for life: I was going to start exercising again and I had a vigorous study and homework schedule, but I left that on that driver's windshield when she hit me. I can't do much exercise, although my dad suggested a stationary bike, which I might try out. I'm too tired to do anything but the bare minimum, although I'm going to try to get a lot done today. All of this is made more frustrating by the fact that she wasn't hurt at all and gets to go about life business as usual. She doesn't have to worry about bringing her grades up while her body and mind are exhausted by the smallest tasks. She doesn't have to rely on her roommates to change bandages for her because looking at the deep cut makes her nauseous or looking at all the road rash, bruises, and the deep cuts and just wanting to cry every time. Or having to have people open doors for you because trying to get through doors on crutches is an acrobatic task or have people carry things for you because your hands are too busy operating crutches.
04 July 2011
Times like these
The main thought on my mind is that it is a time like this, when your entire life has been turned upside down, that you figure out who truly cares about you. I am so thankful to those who have shown their care towards me during this whole experience, but right now at this moment, I'm very upset because some people that I thought might care about me have shown me that they really don't. I'm not sure if I'm extra emotional because of the pain medicine that I'm on, but this is something really upsetting to me. Obviously, I made it out of the crash in a lot better shape than I should have. No head injuries and no broken bones. But I wish that some would realize that although I'm really thankful to have come out of this so well, that it was still an extremely scary experience for me. I know that a lot worse could have happened which is what scares me. It scares me to death that I have to go out and face my fear of that crosswalk again in order to finish out the semester. I don't know if I'll be able to cross that alone and without being terrified the whole time. I thankfully can't vividly remember the accident, but I remember how it felt being hit and how it felt flying through the air and how I felt waking up. This all comes rushing back to me especially when I have to clean out my wounds every night and when I wake up in the morning stuck laying down until someone helps me or I am able to sit up after 10-20 minutes of struggling.
A counselor in our stake presidency came to see me today and encouraged me to work on forgiving the driver of the car, which honestly is something I have not been thinking much about. She hasn't made any attempt to even contact me and showed absolutely no remorse or concern at the scene of the accident. I play along when people tell me that she must be sorry and that she must have been concerned, but all she seemed concerned about was that this accident was an inconvenience to her day. Please excuse me for rightfully and lawfully crossing the street to start out my day, how dare I! And how dare someone be in the crosswalk while you NEED to speed through there (she was going the speed limit, but while there's a person in the crosswalk, going any speed is speeding). Forgiving this girl is going to be very hard for me, because from what it looks like, she had to have been distracted for a prolonged period of time, not just for a second, because she would have had to see me crossing the first half of the street. How can someone be so self-absorbed that they can't even pay attention and consider the safety of those around them? That is something I'm always aware of when I drive. My first concern is safety when I drive, not whether I receive a "very important" text message while I'm driving.
Right now, little things hurt a lot to me. I'm very hurt right now from very small things that in any other situation would not upset me. All that I can assume from some people is that they really don't care that I could have died and they don't care that I'm hurting physically and emotionally and that maybe breaking promises right now is not the best thing because right now I just can't handle it. If you're not going to do something, then don't say that you will, get my hopes up, and let me be crushed, because I can't handle that right now. I just can't...
A counselor in our stake presidency came to see me today and encouraged me to work on forgiving the driver of the car, which honestly is something I have not been thinking much about. She hasn't made any attempt to even contact me and showed absolutely no remorse or concern at the scene of the accident. I play along when people tell me that she must be sorry and that she must have been concerned, but all she seemed concerned about was that this accident was an inconvenience to her day. Please excuse me for rightfully and lawfully crossing the street to start out my day, how dare I! And how dare someone be in the crosswalk while you NEED to speed through there (she was going the speed limit, but while there's a person in the crosswalk, going any speed is speeding). Forgiving this girl is going to be very hard for me, because from what it looks like, she had to have been distracted for a prolonged period of time, not just for a second, because she would have had to see me crossing the first half of the street. How can someone be so self-absorbed that they can't even pay attention and consider the safety of those around them? That is something I'm always aware of when I drive. My first concern is safety when I drive, not whether I receive a "very important" text message while I'm driving.
Right now, little things hurt a lot to me. I'm very hurt right now from very small things that in any other situation would not upset me. All that I can assume from some people is that they really don't care that I could have died and they don't care that I'm hurting physically and emotionally and that maybe breaking promises right now is not the best thing because right now I just can't handle it. If you're not going to do something, then don't say that you will, get my hopes up, and let me be crushed, because I can't handle that right now. I just can't...
02 July 2011
Thankful
Ok, so I know I just wrote about how I survived a car crash yesterday (and if you are reading this without reading that last post, shame on you because that one is the most exciting thing I've posted and you need to read it!) I've been thinking about how thankful I am for everything. I talked to a girl Annalisa that witnessed the accident and she filled in some holes for me. These next couple things are things that for the most part I do not remember for whatever reason. Annalisa saw the car coming towards me, and I tried to get out of the way and instinctively put my hands out in front of me while I did. This was important because it put me on the passenger side of the car instead of directly in the center of the car, and probably saved my life. My knee took out the passenger side headlight first, the impact threw me onto the hood and then into the windshield. My right shoulder hit the windshield first and I flipped over and fell off the car by the driver's side door. In addition, I did not hit my head throughout the entire accident somehow (I'm still not sure how I avoided that). The only head injuries I sustained was a very shallow scrape on my right side and a small chunk of hair was pulled out. Annalisa was right there after the car stopped and apparently I tried to get up but she wouldn't let me (thanks Annalisa). The rest of the accident info, you got from the last blog post. My point to adding the additional information is to not forget any of this and to show that a couple of small hops out of the way probably saved my life. Out of small and simple things do great things come to pass. This saying is very real to me right now.
That just has to do with the accident. I am also thankful for many things that happened post-accident. I received great care from witnesses of the accident and had my roommates/best friends with me the entire time. The EMTs, people at the hospital, and the police officers that were there were very helpful and did their jobs very well. I was lucky to be the only patient in the E.R. at the time, because that meant that I got a lot of attention from the staff and therefore the best care possible. My bishop and his counselor were there at the hospital waiting for me and gave me a blessing as soon as I got home. I am so thankful for that because I believe in the power of priesthood blessings. I had so many people come by and visit me to see if I was okay, and that made me so happy to know that there are people out there who care about me. I got so many inquiries about my state on facebook and via text message and phone calls. I felt so loved that people were so concerned about me. I even got a get well flower arrangement from my parents and an offer from my dad to drive up here. Speaking of those that love me, I have wonderful roommates. I gave them quite a scare, and they were there for me the whole time. They were at the scene of the accident as soon as they heard what happened and then they immediately went to the hospital (one of them riding in the ambulance with me). The one that rode in the ambulance with me was there in my ER room until they took me away for x-rays and even though she thinks she wasn't doing a good job of comforting me, she really did. I was so much less scared because she was there. My roommates took me home from the hospital and immediately got to work taking care of me: elevating my knee adjusting my pillows. One stayed with me while the other two went and got me food from McDonald's and my pain medicine. All day yesterday, they've been answering the door, bringing me food and drink, and helping me go up and down the stairs (a very arduous task fyi), and making sure I was comfortable. They were there supporting me when I had to remove my bandages to clean the wounds and helped me overcome the nausea when I saw my elbow for the first time (deepest cut that I have). They helped me run bath water to make sure the water wasn't too hot and helped me get dressed. My roommate that's a pre-vet major dressed my wounds for me and got me a trashcan because I looked at my elbow again and became nauseous. My other two roommates brought me medicine and water and my laptop and made sure I was ready to go to bed. Today, I woke up this morning and they made me a huge breakfast and brought it to me in bed and provided me with refills of milk. They checked on me every once in awhile, but overall let me sleep. One of my roommates then did me the huge service of washing my hair (I felt so gross with my hair being so gross). She cut two matts out of my hair (last time I brush my hair with asphalt I tell you!) She then put cream in it and braided it so that it wouldn't look crazy. Two of my roommates were then going to go to Family Dollar to take advantage of a sale on Coke for me, but instead helped me go with them so that I could get out of the house and move around like the nurse suggested. The trip didn't last too long because I got too tired and hot, but they brought me home even though they still wanted to stay out. My other roommate that didn't go with us was having a really rough day and still helped me out by staying in the living room with me and just talking to me. My roommates then made and served dinner to me. I don't know if you can tell, but I have the most awesome roommates ever. I'm so grateful for them. I think I would be breaking down crying every few minutes if I didn't have them to take care of me (especially trying to make it up to the stairs to the bathroom, the stairs are my enemy!)
My very long winded point is that I have a lot to be grateful for. I know that my Heavenly Father has been watching over me throughout this whole experience and I know that He will continue to watch over me. Thank you so much to everyone who has helped me in anyway (even just talking to me on facebook, because I've been really bored!)
That just has to do with the accident. I am also thankful for many things that happened post-accident. I received great care from witnesses of the accident and had my roommates/best friends with me the entire time. The EMTs, people at the hospital, and the police officers that were there were very helpful and did their jobs very well. I was lucky to be the only patient in the E.R. at the time, because that meant that I got a lot of attention from the staff and therefore the best care possible. My bishop and his counselor were there at the hospital waiting for me and gave me a blessing as soon as I got home. I am so thankful for that because I believe in the power of priesthood blessings. I had so many people come by and visit me to see if I was okay, and that made me so happy to know that there are people out there who care about me. I got so many inquiries about my state on facebook and via text message and phone calls. I felt so loved that people were so concerned about me. I even got a get well flower arrangement from my parents and an offer from my dad to drive up here. Speaking of those that love me, I have wonderful roommates. I gave them quite a scare, and they were there for me the whole time. They were at the scene of the accident as soon as they heard what happened and then they immediately went to the hospital (one of them riding in the ambulance with me). The one that rode in the ambulance with me was there in my ER room until they took me away for x-rays and even though she thinks she wasn't doing a good job of comforting me, she really did. I was so much less scared because she was there. My roommates took me home from the hospital and immediately got to work taking care of me: elevating my knee adjusting my pillows. One stayed with me while the other two went and got me food from McDonald's and my pain medicine. All day yesterday, they've been answering the door, bringing me food and drink, and helping me go up and down the stairs (a very arduous task fyi), and making sure I was comfortable. They were there supporting me when I had to remove my bandages to clean the wounds and helped me overcome the nausea when I saw my elbow for the first time (deepest cut that I have). They helped me run bath water to make sure the water wasn't too hot and helped me get dressed. My roommate that's a pre-vet major dressed my wounds for me and got me a trashcan because I looked at my elbow again and became nauseous. My other two roommates brought me medicine and water and my laptop and made sure I was ready to go to bed. Today, I woke up this morning and they made me a huge breakfast and brought it to me in bed and provided me with refills of milk. They checked on me every once in awhile, but overall let me sleep. One of my roommates then did me the huge service of washing my hair (I felt so gross with my hair being so gross). She cut two matts out of my hair (last time I brush my hair with asphalt I tell you!) She then put cream in it and braided it so that it wouldn't look crazy. Two of my roommates were then going to go to Family Dollar to take advantage of a sale on Coke for me, but instead helped me go with them so that I could get out of the house and move around like the nurse suggested. The trip didn't last too long because I got too tired and hot, but they brought me home even though they still wanted to stay out. My other roommate that didn't go with us was having a really rough day and still helped me out by staying in the living room with me and just talking to me. My roommates then made and served dinner to me. I don't know if you can tell, but I have the most awesome roommates ever. I'm so grateful for them. I think I would be breaking down crying every few minutes if I didn't have them to take care of me (especially trying to make it up to the stairs to the bathroom, the stairs are my enemy!)
My very long winded point is that I have a lot to be grateful for. I know that my Heavenly Father has been watching over me throughout this whole experience and I know that He will continue to watch over me. Thank you so much to everyone who has helped me in anyway (even just talking to me on facebook, because I've been really bored!)
01 July 2011
Here's the story of how I got hit by a car the day after my birthday!
Ok, so everyone is asking me questions and is probably begging for more, so here's the whole story, or at least everything I know of it.
I left my apartment at 7:30 am on my way to the library to print out lab reports for chemistry lab that morning. I crossed the crosswalk in front of my apartment (from Snowview to the Snow building, I have no idea what road that is). FYI, I always hit the button to light up the flashing lights for the crosswalk because I've been really friggen paranoid about being run over ever since I arrived in Rexburg, and for good reason obviously. The entire time I crossed, I had my phone put away (new laws about phones in crosswalks) and looking back and forth the entire time, as is my routine for crossing. I mention this bluntly so that it is clear that I did everything I could to prevent from being hit. FYI, as I'm writing this, everything that happened is seeming more and more surreal. I had gotten to the second side of the street and looked and all of a sudden saw the car right there. Next thing I knew I was upside down and then waking up on the street. I don't know if I blacked out or if my mind is blocking things out from my memory. When I woke up, there was a red headed guy kneeling over me (and later told me he put his jacket under my head. I was too distracted to notice.) There was another guy that turned out to be a nursing student taking my vitals and making sure I had feeling in my limbs. I could have sworn I was dreaming, and I kept asking if I was. Then Allana from our relief society presidency ran over to me (also a nursing student) and was asking me questions to test my mental ability (I was fine) then she went to get my roommates. I heard the ambulance on the way and my roommate Rachel C ran out and tried to get to me but some guy was holding her back to which she responded "THAT'S MY ROOMMATE" I tried to help, but all I could say was, "Rachel...." kind of quietly. I caught a quick glimpse of the driver while I was waiting for the ambulance. Later when I thought about it, I was very disappointed that she didn't seem concerned about me at all. I'm still kind of ticked about it. I also caught a glimpse of someone who turned out to be the mayor of Rexburg. The ambulance loaded me in and they are asking me all these questions and all I could say was "I hurt all over, but my knee HURTS REALLY BAD!!!" I didn't get pain medicine till we were at the hospital (not really a long time, but it sure felt like it). We arrived at Madison Memorial Hospital in Rexburg, and as I found out later, I was the first patient in the E.R. and the only one until I got released. They took me in, checked my vitals again, got my info and took me in for x-rays. The x-ray technician had a heck of a time getting my necklace off because of the board and neck splint that I was attached to. I had no broken bones(they pretty much x-rayed everything). They left me alone in the x-ray room for a few minutes, and in those few minutes I realized how lucky I was to be conscious, mentally stable, and to have no broken bones. I shed a few tears and thanked God. They wheeled me back into my ER room and finally removed me from the board and neck splint. Those things are really uncomfortable fyi. So they had an officer come in and take pictures of my injuries and asked me a few questions. He also shared a story with me about how another girl my age was drunk and walking on the highway and was hit by a car going 65 mph. The only reason she was still alive was because she was drunk (it had something to do with her body not tensing up because of the alcohol). However, she had a broken neck and was near death. I felt sorry that he had to see two accidents similar to each other within the same two days. Once again, I knew how lucky I was. Another officer then came in and took a statement from me and informed me that the driver was already being fined with failing to yield to a pedestrian and they were doing a further investigation. I was told later by people who witnessed the accident that the driver was on a cell phone and the police officer there suspected she was under the influence of either alcohol or drugs and wanted to draw her blood (I haven't heard any conclusive results on either detail). The nurse (she was really awesome by the way) came in and cleaned up and dressed my wounds. She then wheeled me over to a bathroom and I saw my hair for the first time (I was a little scared). Side detail that i didn't even think about till I saw it. Anyway, the nurse gave me a prescription for vicodin, some heavy duty antibacterial cream, stuff to dress my wounds, crutches, and a business card for an orthopedic specialist to see for my knee. When I was released my roommates, and my bishop and one of his counselors were waiting for me. They followed us back to the house and gave me a blessing (so thankful for that). I've been doing nothing pretty much all day except receiving visitors (gladly by the way). The relief society presidency, my home teachers, two girls from my ward, and the ward executive secretary (who happened to be doing a project on safety, so I did an interview with him for his project). I came home to a note from my dear friend Alex Walker, who happened to see me lying on the concrete on her way to class. Most recently, I have a friend Rachel over from my former apartment complex. She brought pizza and movies to watch. Hopefully later, I'll see one of the girls that was right there when the accident happened, and is a little shaken by it (I want to prove to her that I'm alive). Anyway, that's been my day. Right now I'm fine if I don't move too much, but if I have to get up for something, it's very painful (I almost cried the last time). It doesn't help that we live in a two story apartment. Oh, and I had a visit from the guy that gave me his jacket to put my head under and woke up to. It was so great to see him and thank him for his help. I'm so grateful for everyone that was there helping, or even that just witnessed it to help with the investigation. I'm hoping to be able to go to classes on Tuesday but we'll see. I, again, repeat what I said on facebook: I'm up to visitors and would love it actually. Here's the story! More updates later I guess!
I left my apartment at 7:30 am on my way to the library to print out lab reports for chemistry lab that morning. I crossed the crosswalk in front of my apartment (from Snowview to the Snow building, I have no idea what road that is). FYI, I always hit the button to light up the flashing lights for the crosswalk because I've been really friggen paranoid about being run over ever since I arrived in Rexburg, and for good reason obviously. The entire time I crossed, I had my phone put away (new laws about phones in crosswalks) and looking back and forth the entire time, as is my routine for crossing. I mention this bluntly so that it is clear that I did everything I could to prevent from being hit. FYI, as I'm writing this, everything that happened is seeming more and more surreal. I had gotten to the second side of the street and looked and all of a sudden saw the car right there. Next thing I knew I was upside down and then waking up on the street. I don't know if I blacked out or if my mind is blocking things out from my memory. When I woke up, there was a red headed guy kneeling over me (and later told me he put his jacket under my head. I was too distracted to notice.) There was another guy that turned out to be a nursing student taking my vitals and making sure I had feeling in my limbs. I could have sworn I was dreaming, and I kept asking if I was. Then Allana from our relief society presidency ran over to me (also a nursing student) and was asking me questions to test my mental ability (I was fine) then she went to get my roommates. I heard the ambulance on the way and my roommate Rachel C ran out and tried to get to me but some guy was holding her back to which she responded "THAT'S MY ROOMMATE" I tried to help, but all I could say was, "Rachel...." kind of quietly. I caught a quick glimpse of the driver while I was waiting for the ambulance. Later when I thought about it, I was very disappointed that she didn't seem concerned about me at all. I'm still kind of ticked about it. I also caught a glimpse of someone who turned out to be the mayor of Rexburg. The ambulance loaded me in and they are asking me all these questions and all I could say was "I hurt all over, but my knee HURTS REALLY BAD!!!" I didn't get pain medicine till we were at the hospital (not really a long time, but it sure felt like it). We arrived at Madison Memorial Hospital in Rexburg, and as I found out later, I was the first patient in the E.R. and the only one until I got released. They took me in, checked my vitals again, got my info and took me in for x-rays. The x-ray technician had a heck of a time getting my necklace off because of the board and neck splint that I was attached to. I had no broken bones(they pretty much x-rayed everything). They left me alone in the x-ray room for a few minutes, and in those few minutes I realized how lucky I was to be conscious, mentally stable, and to have no broken bones. I shed a few tears and thanked God. They wheeled me back into my ER room and finally removed me from the board and neck splint. Those things are really uncomfortable fyi. So they had an officer come in and take pictures of my injuries and asked me a few questions. He also shared a story with me about how another girl my age was drunk and walking on the highway and was hit by a car going 65 mph. The only reason she was still alive was because she was drunk (it had something to do with her body not tensing up because of the alcohol). However, she had a broken neck and was near death. I felt sorry that he had to see two accidents similar to each other within the same two days. Once again, I knew how lucky I was. Another officer then came in and took a statement from me and informed me that the driver was already being fined with failing to yield to a pedestrian and they were doing a further investigation. I was told later by people who witnessed the accident that the driver was on a cell phone and the police officer there suspected she was under the influence of either alcohol or drugs and wanted to draw her blood (I haven't heard any conclusive results on either detail). The nurse (she was really awesome by the way) came in and cleaned up and dressed my wounds. She then wheeled me over to a bathroom and I saw my hair for the first time (I was a little scared). Side detail that i didn't even think about till I saw it. Anyway, the nurse gave me a prescription for vicodin, some heavy duty antibacterial cream, stuff to dress my wounds, crutches, and a business card for an orthopedic specialist to see for my knee. When I was released my roommates, and my bishop and one of his counselors were waiting for me. They followed us back to the house and gave me a blessing (so thankful for that). I've been doing nothing pretty much all day except receiving visitors (gladly by the way). The relief society presidency, my home teachers, two girls from my ward, and the ward executive secretary (who happened to be doing a project on safety, so I did an interview with him for his project). I came home to a note from my dear friend Alex Walker, who happened to see me lying on the concrete on her way to class. Most recently, I have a friend Rachel over from my former apartment complex. She brought pizza and movies to watch. Hopefully later, I'll see one of the girls that was right there when the accident happened, and is a little shaken by it (I want to prove to her that I'm alive). Anyway, that's been my day. Right now I'm fine if I don't move too much, but if I have to get up for something, it's very painful (I almost cried the last time). It doesn't help that we live in a two story apartment. Oh, and I had a visit from the guy that gave me his jacket to put my head under and woke up to. It was so great to see him and thank him for his help. I'm so grateful for everyone that was there helping, or even that just witnessed it to help with the investigation. I'm hoping to be able to go to classes on Tuesday but we'll see. I, again, repeat what I said on facebook: I'm up to visitors and would love it actually. Here's the story! More updates later I guess!
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